My Fearful Symmetry Read online

  Raj snorted. “This tart isn’t worth the effort. You’re hungry. Go on and drink, or I’ll finish her myself.”

  The scent drove me mental. I shivered with need. My lips wrapped around the bruised holes Raj had made in her neck and sucked. It took some effort to draw the blood out of the vessels with the heart so weak. I sucked, harder and harder, until some finally dribbled out, still warm but cooling. These dregs only made me want more, like a shark in a feeding frenzy. My arms squeezed the body to force her to give up the last drops, cracking her bones as if I could suck the marrow out as well. Flipping her over, I bit into the extremities, searching for any pocket where the blood may have pooled from gravity.

  I hunched over the girl’s corpse, hating myself for giving into this ghoulish urge, but hating myself even more for not being satisfied. Her heart gave one final clink and stopped. It occurred to me that I might rip open the thoracic cavity and suck the heart. This reminded me of my early days on the streets, when I’d raid ash cans to suck bits of cheese and grease from take-away wrappings, only this was once a human being, and she deserved better treatment than this. I fell back in frustration, chest heaving.

  Raj ran his finger over my bloody lips. “Now, wasn’t she simply delicious?”

  “I’m still hungry…”

  He loosened his tie and bared his skin. “Come and get your share.” I lunged for his throat and clamped down. Liquid heat poured through my blood vessels. Climax rocked me from head to toe. I moaned, tearing his shirt and stroking his chest as if it would make the blood flow faster.

  “Silly boy…to fret over a worthless whore. You need to understand that in feeding the Mother’s Immortyl children, she goes on to better karma. We’ve done her a service.”

  He had to be joking. No way in hell could I believe such complete rubbish. But for the first time I understood, no matter how pretty the crystal or the vintage of the wine mixed into the blood, nothing could match the thrill of clutching the source of our sustenance until the final heartbeat.

  Beeshom took the body to the basement and disposed of it, using tools and methods I didn’t care to know about. Although we took other mortals from time to time for sex or food, Raj didn’t force me to mix the two again. He’d take me on hunting expeditions in the seediest parts of town, among forgotten humanity. Live victims, he said, posed too many dangers in this modern age and must be carefully chosen.

  Raj and I went on enjoying his money and the nightlife. He always managed an invitation to a film premiere or club opening. We moved, undetected and accepted at face value among mortals, encountering no others of our kind for months. Raj and Beeshom were the only ones I’d ever seen, but my progenitor talked a lot to others in India on his mobile. I speculated about this. Surely in a city as big as London there had to be other Immortyls?

  I questioned him about it one night in the car. “Raj, are we the only ones here? I mean, four months and no sign of vamp…uh, Immortyls anywhere.”

  He shrugged and focused on the traffic outside the window. “There aren’t more than a few thousand of us in the entire world. We’ve traditionally kept our numbers low to prevent over-hunting in any territory.”

  “So who runs the show here?”

  “Large cities are neutral ground. Britain itself is the territory of another house, but as the chief elder’s envoy I may travel freely in any territory.”

  “Where is your territory?”

  His mouth pursed with impatience. “I have none…yet.”

  “Why not?”

  He huffed and looked out of his window at the slow crawl of vehicles. “Not enough to go around—that is soon to change, I promise you. Damn this traffic, we’ll be late for the curtain.” He knocked on the glass and spoke to Beeshom, “Pull the car over at the next opportunity. We’ll take the Tube to the theatre.”

  We got out of the car and set off for the station. I’d get nothing further out of him on the subject. He’d slammed the door on any more inquiries. I’d learned enough of Raj in these months together to know that pride ruled him, and to press him would only be answered with harsh words. Talk of India and the chief elder made him irritable in general. The subject annoyed him more than my nattering on about rock music, but I couldn’t help my curiosity about all things Immortyl.

  Some nights later, we waited outside of a nightclub for Beeshom to bring the car around. Raj stood at the curb, his eyes scanning up and down the street as I gushed about celebrities we’d seen. My progenitor’s head swiveled sharply to the right. Clouds of Immortyl scent hit me at the same moment. Figures emerged out of the shadows of neighboring buildings. Without a sound, five boys and two girls around my age in appearance fanned out around us. The lot of them dressed like mortal kids out for a wild evening. Every one of their faces and bodies could have graced a magazine cover. Despite their uniform good looks, their clothes had holes and looked rumpled like they’d slept in them. Obviously, they didn’t have a Raj looking after them.

  The two girls stood to the side with arms round one another. My eyes riveted on them. Masses of blond curls fell down the back of the first. Her leather skirt just cleared her bum, showing a hint of lace knickers. Her girlfriend—I took them to be a couple from the way they hung onto one another—wore a black latex cat suit that outlined her athletic build. Glittering eyes, blue and brown, turned my way. Lips curved into fangy smiles. Pheromone wrapped around my brain. They whispered and laughed like tinkling bells. The pair snogged with generous helpings of tongue. You can imagine the toll it took on me. If Raj hadn’t been there, I’d have made it a point to become better acquainted.

  Raj took my arm and jerked me out of my girl-induced trance. “Whatever they say to you—don’t listen. These sewer rats are not to be trusted.”

  Someone gave a sharp whistle. The boys moved into a tighter circle around us.

  “Keep your distance,” Raj said, in the same deep growl he used when giving orders to Beeshom. “I am a representative of our Exalted Father.”

  They all looked at one another and laughed. A boy with an acid-green Mohawk sauntered toward us. Pearly skin gleamed under the street lamp—where it wasn’t covered in tattoos that is. “We know who you are alpha. Your time is over. Loki will bring the fat one down.”

  Raj stood his ground. His head inclined to the side. “Get on with you, or my dog will teach you some manners.”

  The bloke called over to me, “You. New blood, you don’t have to bend for him. The future is ours.”

  The girls called to me, urging me to join them. The boys chimed in. Their fanatical eyes scared me. I drew closer to Raj. Did they mean to kill us? They closed in, tighter and tighter, chanting now, invoking the name of this Loki. Who was he? The name rang a bell for some reason.

  The Rolls screeched up. Beeshom jumped out. At that moment a group of mortals exited the club. All but the tattooed Immortyl, who seemed to be in charge, retreated back into the dark. This one just looked me up and down in disgust. “Enjoy it while you can, mate.” He smirked and turned away.

  We got into the car. Weird shit. Is this what the rest of them were like, a bunch of mental cases? I stared out the window, wondering what these kids were all about and why they’d behaved in such a threatening manner to Raj. He sat cursing under his breath. “One can’t even go out for the evening without being insulted by this rabble. High time we take action and do what should have been done decades ago. I can’t imagine what Kalidasa is afraid of.”

  “Who were they, Raj?”

  He slammed his fist into the upholstery. “Vermin.”

  “What did they mean by, ‘your time is over’?”

  “Idle threats.”

  “Do they really live in sewers?”

  “How would I know? They are outcast.”

  “Why?”

  He shoved me away. “What are you, a child with all these questions? Forget about them. They are nothing to you.”

  But the fervor of how they chanted the name of their messiah haunted me for wee
ks. I looked up the name Loki online and found out why it sounded so familiar. He was a character out of Norse Mythology. The entry called him “The Mischief Maker,” and said he’d bring on the Ragnorak, the fall of the gods. Whoever this Immortyl Loki happened to be, he provoked madness in his followers.

  And what exactly did that green-haired bloke mean? Enjoy it while you can. I couldn’t make sense of what that kid had said. Who could complain? This was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had everything I’d ever wanted. All I had to do was hint to Raj that I desired something, and the next evening it lay on the bed when I woke, even the vintage Fender Stratocaster guitar I’d dreamed about for years. Okay, so we went to bed at sunrise, but I’d never gone out much in the daytime anyway. I didn’t get sick anymore. I’d never looked better. Super-human sex, I mean come on, who wouldn’t love that?

  Except for the blood we drank, I didn’t really notice any real handicap. I figured from the state of those wretches we hunted that they were out of their misery. Hell, according to Raj, they went onto a better life in a thousand years or so of reincarnation.

  I reckoned this new existence of mine nothing short of paradise. The Goddess herself had chosen me, Raj said. Maybe, there was something to it. Just looking at Raj one could imagine how people believed incarnations of the gods walked among them. Everything was perfect in my idyllic world—until Raj got the call to come home.

  He swore and threw his phone on the table next to the bed. Grabbing his cigarettes, he lit one, tossing his lighter into the ashtray. “Start packing.”

  I sat up on my knees. “Why—where are we going?”

  “Calcutta.”

  “Brilliant, when do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow night. Fuck. I’ve barely had six months alone with you.” He took an agitated drag and blew out the smoke in a thin stream. Raj paced around the room, clawing through his hair and taking things out of cabinets and drawers like he was looking for something. “The bastard wouldn’t say why must I come back now. It’s like I’m his damned lackey. That’s how he treats me after a hundred and fifty years of service. How I loathe that place.”

  “It can’t be that bad.”

  “It’s miles from the city, in the middle of a bloody jungle, no chic restaurants or nightclubs, nothing but snakes, monsoons, and unending boredom.”

  I tried to look on the bright side. “Then we’ll go into the city to play.”

  “It’s hours away.” His brows came together in a line and his face darkened further. Cursing, he threw himself down onto the bed and leaned back against the massive headboard.

  I moved to comfort him, laying my head against his chest. “We’ll be together, Raj.”

  He threw me off and backhanded me across the face. I sprawled across the mattress, stunned that he’d actually hit me. He got up and smoothed his disheveled hair. “Stupid sod. We can’t live as we do here. There are very strict divisions to our roles at court. You must defer to my position.” He crossed over to the window and pulled back the drape. “You are my slave, one of five in fact.”

  Did I hear the sound of breaking glass? Minute cracks fissured my rose-colored world. I wiped a trickle of blood from my lip. “You’re not serious?” He shook his head at my naiveté and started rifling through a mound of papers on the bed table. I pulled myself up from the mattress, rubbing my bruised cheekbone. “I love you, Raj. I’ve never loved anyone but you.”

  He turned to me. A look of utter distaste curdled his face. “Western notions have no place in the court of the chief elder.”

  Cold blasted down my chest to the pit of my stomach. Might I someday be left all alone and become one of those mad urchins we saw on the street? “But you do love me, Raj? Don’t you?”

  “Are you a woman? Why is this romantic nonsense so important to you? We enjoy one another’s company. I give you everything you fancy. It’s a satisfactory arrangement. What more do you want?”

  To be the one who upon your sun rises and sets.

  Drawing my knees up under my chin, I wrapped my arms around my legs. A hollow feeling scooped out what was left of my insides. Raj crossed back to the bed, sinking beside me to stroke my hair. “Don’t mope, Beauty…we’ll go out tonight to that new club you read about in the papers. You’d like that wouldn’t you? I’ll buy you that suede coat with the fringe you so coveted in the shop window. You’ll cut a dash in that.”

  “I suppose.”

  His lips tickled over my ear when he whispered into it. “Nothing is changed between us. You’re still my favorite boy. You know I’m mad for you. When we get back from India, I’ll buy you that car you want. Don’t play games with me… You look so ugly when you sulk.” I tilted my head away. He took my face in his hands and cajoled me. “Come now, smile for me, Beauty. Name it—I’ll buy it tonight—I promise.”

  As usual, he got round me with sweet talk and expensive bribes. The corners of my mouth lifted.

  “That’s right…you take my breath away with your smile.”

  He enfolded me in his arms and held me close, whispering temptations. His heartbeat lulled me into a relaxed state. Caresses demolished my remaining defenses.

  So what if in his strange world I was counted his possession? So what if he’d hit me? I’d had worse. He said I was his favorite boy. I’d been chosen for a great honor. He’d searched a very long time for me. Why would he go to all that trouble if he didn’t love me?

  Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice suggested that he didn’t know the meaning of the word.

  THREE

  We boarded one of Kalidasa’s private jets for the flight to Calcutta. I’d never been on plane before and couldn’t contain my excitement on takeoff. I stared out of the window, dazzled by the multitude of colored lights, as we left Britain behind. Raj failed to be impressed and sat sipping a glass of alcohol-spiked blood as he read the Times. Then again, he was one hundred and eighty, give or take, and I’d just passed my nineteenth birthday. I wore my new, fringed coat, but Raj warned me that once I took up residence in the palace, Western fashions were verboten to someone with my lowly status.

  I turned my attention to a pile of slick magazines, pointing out expensive trifles I fancied to Raj. Once this activity was exhausted, I turned to my iPod, listening to Freddie Mercury wailing I Want It All, until Beeshom came along with a tea trolley.

  The dog set covered dishes out onto a built-in table. Raj made his way over and took a seat on one of the banquettes. I followed behind. Beeshom nudged me hard as I passed by, almost knocking me down. He snickered. “Excuse me.”

  “Watch it.”

  “Watch yourself, Plaything.”

  “You heard that?” I complained to my master. “You heard what he called me?”

  “Enough. Can I dine for once without the two of you bickering?” He took a sip from his glass and made a sour face. “Beeshom, what is this swill?”

  “From the plane’s supply.”

  “It’s spoiled. Get some from my private stock.”

  Beeshom glared like I was the one who had scolded him and lurched away to the galley. I took my seat across from Raj and lifted the cover from my dish, poking it with the fork and wondering if Beeshom had somehow tampered with the contents. “I’m tired of his constant disrespect.”

  Raj flicked his napkin open and settled it over his lap. “You won’t see much of him once we’re at court. You’ll serve in different spheres.”

  I hoped so. After dinner, we went back to our seats. I reclined mine and read a book on Indian culture and art until I dozed off with my head resting on Raj’s shoulder, dreaming of swirling dancers in flame-bright costumes. Some time later, Raj woke me to say we were landing. I straightened my seat and peered out the window at Calcutta sprawling out beneath us. The plane descended and touched down with a bump. The engines whined as we slowed to a stop.

  A Rolls Royce met us on the tarmac. The heat outside stifled. Thankfully, the car was air-conditioned. I laid my coat away with a tinge of regret and u
nbuttoned my sticky shirt, slipping into the backseat beside Raj. Beeshom took a seat in front with a driver who could have been made from the same crude mold as he.

  The car crept along the streets. Even by London standards, Calcutta was over-crowded. At one point, beggars—many of them little kids—swarmed us with outstretched hands, some allicted with lesions like I once had. The driver laid on the horn in an attempt to drive them off. I’d read up on our destination on the plane. Kolcutt was Kali’s own city, and called the “City of Joy.” I decided those who named it that must have had a strong sense of irony, because I didn’t see much for the residents to be happy about.

  Raj scowled at the mass of god-forsaken humanity milling around the car. “They live like beasts on top of one another, constantly breeding, producing more and more vermin. The only good thing one can say is, at least there’s a constant supply of blood. Here we get it on the hoof whenever we want.”

  Raj drew a shade down over his window with his manicured hand and sank back against the seat. A skeleton masquerading as an old woman pressed her face against the glass on my side. Dark brown skin stretched like leather over her carcass. She knocked on the window with a bony fist. Her toothless mouth implored me in words I didn’t understand. I pulled back and followed Raj’s lead, covering my window. Taking out my iPod, I stuffed the buds into my ears, cranking up Suffragette City to shut out the insistent cries outside. A pang of guilt pricked my conscience. I didn’t quite know how to handle this.

  We cleared the mob and drove on, soon leaving the city behind. I raised the shade and peered out of the window. The Rolls bumped over rutted roads and through shallow streams, past villages and eventually into a jungle. At last, it turned and then climbed up a hillside. We came upon a tall, electrified fence. A set of gates opened to admit us. Immortyl men waved flaming torches. Beyond them loomed a collection of buildings. As we pulled onto a paved drive, a pair of golden eyes stared in the window next to me. A mouth made a noise between a growl and a roar, revealing fangs. I started, which made Raj chuckle.